Tuesday, October 04, 2005

You Might be a RINO* If ...

*Republican In Name Only

One of the funniest comedians I know, Jeff Foxworthy, has developed his comedy routine by providing a test for people who are not sure if they are a Redneck. For example he would say, “If you ever took a can of beer to a job interview, you might be a Redneck.” I started to think about the Republicans in my state and others who are not sure if they are RINO's. I was pondering that question and I started to think of ways you can tell if you might be a RINO. Here are some of my random thoughts in no particular order, however they are not meant to be funny.


· If you get the endorsement of the teachers union, you might be a RINO.
· If you go to political functions and brag about how much money you brought back to your district, you might be a RINO.
· If you’ve been reelected to the same legislative seat more that 3 times, you might be a RINO.
· If you have 2 or more close relatives working for the government, you might be a RINO.
· If you are holding more than one elected office, you might be a RINO.
· If you ever voted to raise your own salary, pension, or benefits, you might be a RINO.
· If you haven’t openly defended Wal-Mart who is under attack by the unions, you might be a RINO.
· If you voted to increase the “minimum wage,” you might be a RINO.
· If you ever voted to preserve open space you didn’t personally own, you might be a RINO.
· If you are endorsed by the Sierra Club, you might be a RINO.
· If you ever uttered something like “Conservatives can’t win in this state,” you might be a RINO.
· If you ever uttered something like “75% of the budget is contractual and nothing can be done about it,” you might be a RINO.
· If you ever said anything like “you have to compromise or nothing would ever get done,” you might be a RINO.
· If you ever abstained from a legislative vote to avoid controversy, you might be a RINO.
· If you use the word “fetus” to differentiate from an “unborn baby,” you might be a RINO.
· If you think property tax relief can't be achieved in the state capitol, you might be a RINO.
· If you describe yourself a “fiscal" conservative, you might be a RINO.
· If you have a solution to the high property taxes and it doesn’t include taking down the Education establishment, you might be a RINO delusional.
· If you never sponsored a bill that eliminates a government program, you might be a RINO.
· If you are endorsed by Planned Parenthood, you might be a RINO.
· If you think a progressive tax is fair, you might be a RINO.
· If you means-test any government benefit, you might be a RINO.
· If you think you can solve crime by passing laws, you might be a RINO.
· If you think gun control make us safer, you might be a RINO.
· If you voted to renew the Patriot Act, you might be a RINO.
· If you think you can reduce the crime rate without returning God back into the public domain, you might be a RINO.
· If you are endorsed by any union, you might be a RINO.
· If you think government can rehabilitate substance abuse better than faith based organizations can, you might be a RINO.
· If you think school choice will destroy public education, you might be a RINO an idiot.
· If you ever voted to form and fund a commission or study, you might be a RINO.
· If you voted to ban cell phone use while driving, you might be a RINO.
· If you think government should subsidize college tuition, you might be a RINO.
· If you support parental notification and banning partial-birth abortion, but can’t declare yourself as Pro-Life, you might be a RINO.
· If you’re politically correct first and practical second, you might be a RINO.
· If you need to take a poll to know how to vote, you might be a RINO.
· If you voted for stricter emission restrictions on vehicles, you might be a RINO.
· If you sponsor legislation for the purpose of telling the public you care, you might be a RINO.
· If you voted for CAFTA, you might be a RINO.
· If you don’t regularly attend religious services, other than during a campaign you might be a RINO.
· If you voted to subsidize private enterprise, you might be a RINO.
· If you are personally against abortion but don’t want to impose your values on anyone else, you might be a RINO.
· If you ever voted for a budget with added debt that has not be approved by referendum, you might be a RINO.
· If you support building a new stadium with public money and say it will not cost the taxpayer anything, you might be a RINO liar.
· If you support gay marriage or domestic partnerships, you might be a RINO.
· If you refuse to help business and residents from having their property taken from them to give to a prefered developer, you might be a RINO heartless thief.
· If you oppose allowing state and local law enforcement to round up “illegal aliens,” you might be a RINO.
· If receive the endorsement of a major newspaper, you might be a RINO.
· If you ever traded your vote to get a vote; “I’ll support your pork, if you support my pork,” you might be a RINO.
· If you ever voted for legislation or appropriations on basis of the Supreme Court’s say so, you might be a neutered RINO.
· If you believe the secret to political success is a “Big Tent,” you might be a RINO.

Once I started these thoughts, they just kept flowing. I’m sure you can think of many more, so if you have additional RINO indicators, I would like to hear them. You can reach me at jonelli@optonline.net.

--- Joseph Tomanelli is President and co-founder of the New Jersey Republican Assembly, “The Republican Wing of the Republican Party;” he has earned a BS degree in Business from Ramapo College and an MS degree in Management and Operational Auditing from NJIT. He is also a CPA, former President of the Mahwah Republican Club, an elected County Committeeman, and a self-described RINO Hunter.

by Joseph Tomanelli

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